Morganna's Reflection | |
Monday, November 25th 2024 | |
The Guermantes Way: Part I | |
We're still, however slowly, progressing through In Search of Lost Time. | |
by Morganna Nikolaevna | |
I finished Part I of The Guermantes Way this weekend. Overall, I liked it. Despite being 400 pages of dense French literature, it was overall fairly focused both in narrative and structure. It started with the narrator going to an Opera and briefly seeing some of French high-society. He then visited Robert Saint-Loup at his barracks. He return to Paris and there was a long, long, lunch party where the narrator met several members of the Guermantes family. And then, a the end of part I, his grandmother had a stroke. Part II starts with the narrator rushing for a doctor, which is where I am now. As a whole, I felt like I could relate a bit more to the narrator in The Guermantes Way than in previous books. He spent a lot of times going on walks and just thinking about things (something I do often). And he has a general propensity to imagine great things about himself (something I do often). I also don't feel like he did anything overtly bad in this novel (whereas in the previous he solicited multiple prostitutes, which I found very off-putting). There were several very interesting scenes. When he used a telephone for the first time it was quite interesting to be propelled in the past at the marvel of talking to someone over a distance. The book made extraordinarily specific references to The Dreyfus Affair (so much so that even reading a history book on it would likely be insufficient to understand everything). The narrator, again, is obsessed with an older woman (this time Madame Guermante instead of Madam Swann). Robert Saint-Loup is far too good of a friend to the narrator, still. And the narrator's weird friendship with Baron de Charlus seems like a properly interesting plot point-that guy is unhinged. Ah, I wish I had more to say. It's a very long book, but I feel like it's only understood by reading it yourself. Summarizing it's plot (which is, honestly, quite boring) does a poor job of emphasizing the "weight" of all of the characters. It overlooks just how long it takes to read, and the effect that has on the reader who must put up with it. I look forward to Part II. Other Remarks I'm still working on Symposium Magarum on the piano. It will be Black Friday soon, and I wonder what deals I'll be able to find (if any). |
Morganna's Reflection | |
Wednesday, November 20th 2024 | |
Another (short) Piano Update | |
I spend hours a day practicing, so I might as well mention it briefly here. | |
by Morganna Nikolaevna | |
At this point I'm spending hours, at least two or three on weekdays, even more than that on weekends, playing the piano. To that end, it feels a bit weird that I haven't posted much about it on Morganna's House. Perhaps it is just that, the frequency of playing, that makes me forget to talk about it. My current daily piano schedule starts at school. I get there pretty early, naturally and, on my Nord Grand 2, I quickly play all the major scales in parallel and contrary motion. Then, I play several of my favorite songs: I See The Light, The Promise of the World, The Waltz of Chihiro ("Reprise"), A Town with an Ocean View, Bygone Days, and, I soon hope, Decretum. In addition, I'm also trying to learn Lilypond to engrave some of my favorite songs. The Musescore versions sort of suck. And it would be valuable to learn it anyways, I think. And fun! Other Remarks My pants from Atelier Tuffery should arrive sometime this week! I an excited! |
Morganna's Reflection | |
Friday, November 15th 2024 | |
Re: Re: Fwd: Teaching | |
Something I often do but rarely talk about. | |
by Morganna Nikolaevna | |
A close reader of Morganna's House would know (although I can't imagine any exist given that I post entirely here for my own benefit—I'd rather update this site than go to therapy, as the colloquial expression goes) that I teach. Yet despite teaching being an integral part of my life, despite it being, perhaps, the largest influence I have on society, I rarely, if ever, talk about it here, or outside of school. I feel compelled to talk about teaching today, if only briefly, because our state, yet again, is attempting to "fix" education by redoing the high-school diploma requirements. The policy-maker, I'm sure, with a binder full of acronyms, is only one buzz-word laced initiative away from fixing all our education woes. "If only we were like [European country] our math scores would be higher!" Or, "If only education was more authentic, students would actually pay attention!" It should be stated at the outset that the primary reasons we constantly reinvent education is because children are not robots. There is no direct dose-relationship between our methods and student achievement. Instead student achievement is a multifaceted issue for which teachers play an important, but not isolated role. To be clear: we can't expect teachers be damage control agents for every pan-generational crisis facing youth today. I'll begin by listing some of the issues I personally see in modern education, then discuss how I believe they can be addressed. It may come as a surprise to the reader that I am not about to blame students, in really in capacity, for these problems. Children are entirely a product of their environment. If they're misbehaving, when they're misbehaving, that should be considered a mirror to society, and one should consider it a flaw in society itself when the fail. This isn't to say students have no responsibility. Instead, it is to say we, as a society, should accept the majority of the blame rests with adults—we're the ones raising them, after all. Problem 1 The first major problem I see in education is by far and away the general propensity to engage in "wish" strategies. That is to say, we do what we really wish would work as opposed to what has actually been demonstrated to work. So many initiatives, trainings, professional development, is spent (wasted) on things contrary to educational research. I'll given but one example: direct instruction. Direct Instruction has been consistently found to be highly-effective method of teaching, and the most effective at teaching academically non-compliant students. Yet every single training I've ever been to has been critical of it. As a consequence, I find it difficult to take any other part of the training seriously. It'd be like a doctor discussing healthy eating, then beginning by saying "there's no evidence sugar is bad for you." If anyone get something so fundamental wrong, it's safe to ignore everything they say thereafter. They simply haven't thought about the issues. This is where I am now. I ignore all the training and advice. Problem 2 We seem, for whatever reason, to have as our ultimate goal, our central dogma, that whatever happens students can't fail. This goal, while noble and I believe correct, has been warped into teaching students skills to avoid failure instead of the skills needed to succeed. When I see students rush through assignments as fast as possible simply to "get it done", they're doing this out of a vague understanding that 0's are bad, but not out of a firm understanding that learning is good—that it is, in fact, the goal. Problem 3 Every method we seem to employ, to whatever end we wish to achieve, is implemented in such a way that maximizes inconvenience while minimizing the actual goal. When we mainstream students with disabilities, we often place then in regular classes—the least restrictive environment. They miss social cues and act abnormally relative to their peers. Other students treat them differently. As a result, instead of feeling mainstreamed, they feel isolated and alone. They same applies when general education students very hard classes, or when ENL students take classes in English. There is a paradox in that the least restrictive environment for one student is often the most restrictive for another. And too often we avoid the others for the one who is most disruptive and combative. Problem 4 And finally, school administrators. Ugh. By far and away the largest problems I face in my day-to-day teaching career are not difficult students. They're not difficult parents. They're room temperature IQ school administrators who make twice my salary while doing half the work. And I don't mean this is local to our school. State level admins who unilaterally change students without input are also highly problematic and a source of eternal consternation for us. Just yesterday we spent over an hour debating unclear changes to the high school diploma requirements for next year. I've personally spent hours writing standards again and again just to have no one read them. This week I've had meetings with admins randomly observed by other admins who were surprised to see each other there. I heard another teacher claim the proposed diploma changes switching to the "European" system. This is an incredibly vague and nebulous thing to claim. Europe is an incredibly large diverse continent with many different education systems. Many of which have much higher academic rigor than our own. When we say "Europe" do we mean Finland, which requires Calculus to graduate? Sweden, which requires the same? What about Estonia, which also has significantly higher math requirements? What about Albania where if there's a problem in school the parents can formally petition a court to start a state-approved blood feud where they're allowed to violently attack someone over a disagreement (that's true by the way). Of course not. They don't mean that. Instead, they always mean France. For whatever reason, when people say we need to make our schools more like Europe, they always reference the French system, specifically the lycée (``lee-say'') system. It's a system with fixed paths which, by the way, France abolished a few years ago. Other Remarks I ordered two more pairs of pants from Atelier Tuffery. I asked them to hem them. I hope they did, but if they didn't I can always do it myself. I also placed a big order for sewing supplies on Amazon. All I need is a serger, which I'll try and snag from Singer on Black Friday. |
Morganna's Reflection | |
Friday, November 8th 2024 | |
Gen Z is "cooked", as the kids these days say. | |
Is massive gender divide ala South Korea is brewing on the United States? | |
by Morganna Nikolaevna | |
Given that I teach, I interface with a lot of kids everyday. One of the more interesting, and admittedly more depressing, aspects of Zoomers that I've consistently observed is just... how far right many of them are. The notion that young people are liberal and old people are conservative is false. The crypto-fascist Zoomers I deal with everyday prove that. In my experience the girls are often liberal, but the guys are definitely far-right wing "conservatives" (I put "conservatives" in air quotes because I don't exactly know what they're trying to conserve—on the contrary they're trying to destroy everything social media has told them to hate). This pattern exists in other countries too, such as South Korea. A massive gender divide exists there as well. And I think this is important to mention at the outset because it slightly precludes specific causal factors unique to the United States as an explanation for the slow burn culture war we will be dealing with for the next decade. Anyone who says "Oh, this Democratic policy is the specific reason why young men don't like Democrats" seem to ignore the very salient fact that Democrats don't control South Korea. No, something else is amiss here. Early yesterday I say on the Gen Z subreddit the following post: How do you feel about the hate?. The 10,000 replies that followed area nothing but a bunch of fair-right wing Zoomers airing their grievances. Saluting in error. Criticizing the void. Or, more concisely, young perma-virgins complaining that all of their problems are somehow caused by... liberals? This is, of course, not true at all. Their problems are caused by the fact that they're unlikable incels that refuse improve themselves and instead blame "liberals", women, and LGBT people? But even a cursory reading of the content confirms a post a made yesterday: that the right conducts itself through perpetual victimhood and, despite all evidence to the contrary, utterly ignores that they are the unconscious authors of their own suffering. They are, for whatever reason, victims of "trannies", victims of LGBT rights, victims of women... but never victims of themselves and their own self-loathing. They don't hate liberals. They hate themselves. This is their central dogma: anger and spite. We can see evidence of a generational divide when we examine concurrent posts from /r/teachers, They're... celebrating?. There, other teachers express a confused bewilderment at the fact that students, even those directly harmed by Trump and his right-wing policies, are celebrating his victory. But again, they're not celebrating his victory. They're hate-filled perpetually online retarded incels who operate purely out of an unwarranted desire for vengeance at a society they feel has wronged them. For them, the internet has created a artificial stage of high-drama where everyone is a either the dastardly villain or a great hero, as Jon Ronson would put it. A stage where every perceived slight, every mild injustice, is used as a justification to warrant their hate-filled bitter world view. They think to themselves women don't like them because of "feminism", but in reality women don't like their because they're terminally only retards who smell like Doritos. They think to themselves suicide rates are high because of "liberals", but in reality they're high because the wake up at 11:00 in the morning, chug energy drinks, then eat Totinos Pizza Rolls. They think they're miserable because of LGBT-rights, when in reality they're miserable because they haven't touched grass in the last 10 years, too busy playing Call of Duty while their mother pleads with them to leave the basement and to just please eat dinner with the family for once. To be far, it's not just Zoomers. Just this morning, another post on Reddit, Why so many men feel abandoned by Democrats, echoes a similar sentiment albeit from seemingly older men. The idea that, somehow, male suicide, male incarceration, and men struggling in schools is somehow the fault of... democrats? Nevermind how Republican policies directly affect all of those and Democrats are trying to fix it. Nevermind that suicide is a problem in many other countries yes, even those not controlled by Democrats. Nevermind the fact that men struggling in schools, something I see every day as a teacher, is entirely predicated upon their general apathy which is entirely internal. It's easy to blame society, of course. To put it in clearer terms for the perma-virigin incel young men who are mad at the world: the world isn't going to let you outsource your emotional regulation. Just because you're mad doesn't the world did something wrong. Other Remarks I should be able to move on to the final part of Decretum this weekend. I am excited! |
Morganna's Reflection | |
Wednesday, November 6th 2024 | |
An American Tragedy | |
It can no longer be written off as a fluke. This country is deeply flawed. | |
by Morganna Nikolaevna | |
Not only has Trump won, but for the first time three elections he has also won the popular vote. A twice impeached, 34-count convicted felon, civilly liable rapist has been handed a decisive victory by the American electorate. That same electorate has also handed the Republican party the House and Senate. If we only were to spend all our time on echo chambers like Reddit, we would have believed that a Harris victory was inevitable. Were one to simply go by public endorsements, a Harris victory would have seemed beyond a reasonable doubt. But, even months ago (see A general melancholy concerning politics from back on July 3rd), it was clear that such a victory was increasingly unlikely. Trump had always outperformed the polls. And when the polls were this close it became increasingly clear he would likely win. And he did. Trump is not, nor has he ever, been out for justice—he's out for revenge. And in this time, in his final term in office, he will return embittered. Emboldened. And with a unique understanding of how to bend and break the system in order to act on his most aggressive impulses. Hellbent on retribution for every single perceived injustice, for every single slight, however insignificant, he will do the only think he knows how: lash out at everyone who has ever or will ever oppose him. He has no higher loyalty, no noble cause. Instead he, like his supporters, like the majority of the American people, it would seem, are operating purely out of spite. And so, for the next four years, we will have to sit back and watch the American experiment flounder, like an upside-down fat turtle in the hot sun. All because a clutch of hysterical low-information voters care more about airing their own grievances instead of the idea, however imperfect it may be, of democracy. Over the next few days and weeks, pundits from both campaigns will contrive narratives making Harris's defeat and Trump's victory seem retrospectively self-evident. "It was obvious all along", they'll argue. But it wasn't. Trump's flaws, individually disqualifying, in aggregate uniquely repulsive, would have precluded any other candidate. But not Trump. To his supporters, he is immune. And so too, with this election, we again underestimated the politics of contempt. We labored under the delusion that the electorate would, for whatever reason, rationally examine the evidence and conclude that they must do everything in their power to stop Trump from winning. But they didn't. His supporters don't care. Quite the contrary, this is what they want. They're out for blood. And they can and will slash and burn American democracy to satiate their lust for violence, both figurate and literal. To be clear: Trump's victory was decisive and sweeping. We cannot take solace in the fact that the electoral college was "rigged" for small states because he won the popular vote, too. We cannot take solace in him just "barely" winning because he swept multiple swing states. We, who see Trump for who he is, a craven conman, are the minority. Policy? The majority of Americans don't care about foreign policy. Fiscal policy. Social policy. They don't care that Trump launched a direct attack on American democracy itself on January 6th. Theirs is the politics of hate. We have an angry mob, mad at anything, shouting at imagined shadows, and they are the majority. They have constructed an imaginary enemy, and fully plan to burn the country down in order to defeat it. As for me, however, I will be fine. As I've said in several earlier posts on Morganna's House, very little in terms of politics will affect my day-to-day life. I bought my house with cash. I bought my car with cash. I have no debt. I'm rich. Come what may I will come home at the end of the day, do some calligraphy, play the piano, watch some anime, and maybe play some games (if I can ever find a good one). To that end, if it has so little effect on me then I should, if only as a sophisticated coping mechanism, stop caring. As-is, I've already started. I've slowly blocked all political stories on YouTube and, at least for the time being, I'll greatly reduce my news and social media intake (I'll just go to /a/ and talk about anime). This is, perhaps, something I should have done all along. To be honest, though, I do find it mildly upsetting that I'll have to stop listening to and watching the news for a while. Because, while I do enjoy it, I simply cannot withstand another four-year fire hose of Trump-related news. Trump is, himself, the method of exhaustion. The same way a retarded kid in class will, eventually, force the teacher to admit to defeat. Trump has done the same with the American electorate. It's not all doom and gloom, though. I'm not entirely enamored with the idea that Trump himself will usher in the fall of the American government. I believe our institutions are strong enough to withstand four more years of this fat retard. And, to be completely forthcoming, I don't think Trump wants to destroy the American government to begin with. If he does so indirectly or through negligence, such a thing is a possibility. But at the end of the day Trump is just a fat orange old man who wants to eat McDonalds, drink diet Coke, and play golf. And while Trump's presidency is sure to be a disaster, I do not believe these next four years have to be a disaster for me. I do have several goals I hope to achieve. One, is that I'd obviously like to continue improving my piano playing. I should have started playing years ago... but perhaps if I did I never would have bothered with learning calligraphy, another side goal I always had. Oh well, one can't control how heaven's wheel spins. Another goal was sewing. That got put on the back burner after I tried to make a bag over fall break and just completely failed. I didn't have the proper materials to cut, and the bolt of fabric I bought was so thin the sewing machine would often get jammed when I tried to use it. Oh, and I didn't have a serging machine. I'll save some money this month and hope for some killer Black Friday deals from Singer for one. Other Remarks I ordered several sheet music books from Wasabi Music last week. It looks like they should arrive today. One is for Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Two are from Nier: Automata (both the game and the anime). And one is a Final Fantasy song book. I didn't have a lot of success with my first Final Fantasy book... but now that I think about I may be able to use that Play Score app (or whatever it was called) to understand some of the more difficult parts. Actually, that is an utterly fantastic idea now that I think about it. I really wanted to get through Melodies of Life, but due to getting stuck on several measures I had to move on to a different song. I may give it another shot, if I can ever finish Decretum, that is. I'm still practicing that everyday, too. I'm making good progress. But it is by far and away the most complicated song I've learned so far. I finished a few songs in Volume 2 of Adult Piano Adventures, but when I get home I find it a bit of a slog to wade through that specific book. The songs are just a bit boring, so when I get back from work and just want to take a break, I want to play a song I enjoy. |
Morganna's Reflection | |
Monday, November 4th 2024 | |
Dawn of the Final Day: American Politics | |
I wish we could end the madness tomorrow. I really do. | |
by Morganna Nikolaevna | |
After years we're finally here. The 2024 election is tomorrow. I plan to vote after school, although my vote won't matter because we live in a red state. Still, I ought to do it out of principle. I follow politics so much, for all these years, I'm at least mildly obligated lest I feel mildly like a hypocrite. As for who I want to win, it's obvious Harris is the only rationale choice. Despite this, I have a feeling Trump will win. I say this because, while the polls are tied, Trump has always outperformed the polls the day of. I don't really have much else to say other than I feel like we, me, America, is about to lose. And I figure, years from now, it will be fun to look back and reflect on it all with this short post. And I mean short. I wish I had more to say, but I don't. It's all already been said by now. Now all that's left is to let heaven's wheel spin against us. Other Remarks Runescape released some silly update today where I have to farm a 1/2560 drop to get my Comp cape back. I've been farming all day and I'm at 4100 kills as I type this with nothing to show for it. I'm seriously considering quiting this terrible game. This is not fun at all. |
Copyright 2024 | Morganna Nikolaevna
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