About the Camera

I picked up the Leica M11 yesterday (Monday 10/30), sort of. Because it required a direct signature, I had to redirect it to a nearby FedEx office location. Then, after picking it up after school, I had to take it do a UPS Customer Service point to send it to New Jersey, so Leica North America can forward it to Germany to replace the leather wrap on the camera.

I had to pay $190 to overnight it to New Jersey because the declared value was so high! I made the shipping label at work, then printed it off via remote desktop to my home printer. And when I left work, my car didn't start, there was an accident at the interaction I normally turn left to get home on, so after jump starting I had to take this incredibly roundabout way to get home and avoid all the traffic. It was miserable! And then I couldn't drop off the package at a UPS Store (again, because of the declared value), so I had to travel directly to a UPS warehouse to drop it off. I actually opened the package, removed the battery, taped it up and put the new label on, right while I was standing in the UPS warehouse. The good news is, it actually arrived at Leica America earlier today. So as I'm typing this the wheels are already in motion.

Figure 1

I wish I could find the same happiness this AI generated anime girl knows.

My goal is to replace the original black leather wrap with a dark red/purple, and they actually had something close called "Brombeere" (Blackberry?). I really like black, don't get me wrong. So much so that I still have a bit of trepidation switching from black to this dark red/purple color, but I really want this camera to be a fashion statement, so I feel like I can make a stronger fashion statement with the color change. I think once it's in my hands, I'll know I made the right decision. I also ordered, from Leica Austria, a matching Brombeere strap. Once that comes in I'll have a really good idea of exactly what this leather color looks like.

I still haven't ordered the lenses and accessories, yet. I have several thousand dollars on the way, I believe, from soon-to-be liquidate Navy Federal Credit Union accounts I inherited about a year ago. I believe once those are gone, I'll close all accounts and never look back at NFCU. To some extent, it's a bit sad to realize my Mother's life work built said accounts, and now they're finally winding down. It's a bit sad to think she spent her entire life saving for a retirement she never got to see. I would like to believe that I can find some joy in this camera, using money she earned... but she was never a big spender like me. She spent her entire life saving. She refused to buy a new phone, even when hers was broken, despite being a millionaire.

Other Remarks

It's Halloween! Happy Halloween... to me! I put a bowl of candy outside my house... but I don't know how many children came up to get candy. If I have any left, I can bring it to school tomorrow. Perhaps I can bring it, save it, and give some of it to the people who show up to my calligraphy lesson? For this Halloween, I'm alone, like always. I practiced Spencerian. I'm typing on this website (what you're reading now) as I make Decorating Woodcutting Urns in Runescape (in preparation for 120 woodcutting). All while listening to news stories related to the 2023 Israel–Hamas War.

My first "luxury" watch was a 34mm Rolex Oyster Perpetual with a Red Grape dial. I would, after my sister gave me $1000 (which I used, in part, to buy a Vacheron Constantin 36mm Patrimony in White Gold), give her that watch as a gift. I hope she continues to wear it in good health.

Afterwards, however, I somewhat lamented the loss of my only stainless steel sports watch. The versatility of such a watch, while often overstated by social media "influencers", is still nevertheless accurate. I can't imagine myself traveling the world in a 36mm white gold Patrimony, now can I? I considered, quite seriously for some time, buying another Rolex. There was a pink Oyster Date that I considered buying, but the seller never responded to me on Chrono24. I'm currently on the wait list for a 36mm Rolex Explorer, but I don't imagine I'm getting that call back anytime soon (and if I do, I will likely pass on it).

The Vacheron Constantin Overseas has been on my radar for a while—I want the Maltese Cross on all my watches—and that's Vacheron's stainless steel sports model. But I thought it was too big. When I tried to contact my sales rep at the New York store to inquire about the 37mm model, they never responded (I think they quit?), and also I think the discontinued that model before I even inquired about it.

Well, earlier this year I got an email about Vacheron's 2023 Watches and Wonders announcement, and too my shock they were coming out with a 34mm Overseas! I immediately emailed by web contact at Vacheron, and they responded to me that the watch was just announced, and they didn't know the price or the release date. I asked to be put on the wait list, and waited all summer (worried I wasn't in the first wave to get it), but at the start of the school year I was notified it was arriving! Then it shipped September 1st, and I got it!

Figure 1 My Vacheron Constantin Overseas (34mm) - Small Model

While it comes with three bracelets (stainless steel, rubber, and alligator leather), I really only wear it on stainless steal. I think it looks better, and I don't like how the watch looks when the non-integrated bracelets are attached to the lugs.

Why the Overseas? Well, there are several reasons. The first, is I like the brand. Vacheron Constantin is, and will likely remain, my preferred watch brand for the rest of my life. (It also helps that I have a buy history with them.) The second, is that I like smaller watches, and always have. I have tiny tiny baby wrists, so anything above 38mm is too big for me (and 38mm is already pushing it if the lugs are unforgiving or the bracelet is integrated). And did I mention that Maltese Cross at the 12 o'clock position?

I hate to use buzzwords like "versatility" and "everday wear", but that's what piqued my interest in this watch. I like how I can wear this watch outdoors. For the longest times, on my walks, I lamented how I didn't have an outdoor watch I could imagine myself wearing as I traveled the world (in my head) and become a war hero (in my head). Well, now I do. I have a watch that fits that description! I think, to a larger extent, the watch itself was, like many of my purchases, aspirational. This watch, like the camera I ordered and the clothes I wear, is buying a lifestyle. I'm buying my imagination. My purchases, like my imagination, are expansive in cost. I buy the things I wish I was, in the hopes that they will, in part or in whole, propel me to where I wish to be. I fill the cracks and holes in my hearts with luxury clothing and expensive possessions—they're my sole companions on this journey.

Well, after some short reflection and thought, I did indeed by the Leica M11. I didn't yet buy lenses for it, mainly because I was plaining to send it off to Leica after getting it to change the leather wrap on it. Leica Germany actually got back to me telling me they had the leather color I wanted in stock, but Leica America didn't get back to me yet (although it's only been one business day). Hopefully they get back to me on Monday, otherwise I may just keep the original black color and move on with the process of buying a lens (or two) and accessories.

Figure 1 A cute anime girl with a camera.

I'm surprised how good the hands turned out given that this was AI generated. The future is now.

I went with the previously discussed Leica M11 mainly for two reasons: (1) its brand recognition as a luxury item, and (2) its curb appeal (i.e., I feel like it will look good in my hand). I also like how Leica has supported the M system for years, so any lenses I but should be able to be used long into the foreseeable future. But to be completely forthcoming, I only learned about that after placing the purchase! Like the FujiFilm X100F I bought several years ago, I bought this camera because it looks good! If it's going to be in my hands for extended periods of time, to some extent I have to accept, and I want to accept, that it is also a fashion statement. One thing that surprised me, however, is that it can't film video? It's also not weather-proofed. I suppose if I really need video I can film it on my phone then transfer it to my computer at a later date, but we have to accept that's an ergonomic nightmare. Perhaps I can just take the case off my phone should I have need to do that habitually. Also no weather-proofing? Perhaps I am being taken for a ruse cruise by Leica.

The goal with this camera, I hope, is to loosely catalogue parts of my life and travels into the far future (and upload them to Morganna's House!). I think the issue I had with the FujiFilm X100F is that it never "jived" with me. It always felt... unfamiliar in my hands. I think part of cause was the inability to change the lens, and that I wanted a Leica originally. To a large extent, I shouldn't be too critical of buying it, though. It did get me through the pandemic, where I used it everyday as a webcam to livestream my lessons. And I still have the Gitzo travel tripod, too! So I already do have a lot of equipment for this.

When I imagine how I'll use it, I think I'll start with areas around where I live. I do want to explore some of the smaller towns in the area, so driving around the state and catalogue the decay could be interesting. I'll also use it to catalogue some of the interesting landscapes in the area (although there aren't too many in this flat state!).

I mentioned last week that the current arc in Sousou no Frieren seemed abnormally strong. And this week's episode kept the pace with the title drop "Frieren the Slayer." The prelude to the title drop was Fern using magic to attack one of the demon ambassador's in the town. The ambassador was unable to detect or dodge the attack, and asked her where she learned it. When Fern responded it was "typical" offensive magic, the ambassador said that was impossible. That spell was specifically designed to kill demons. This made the early slog episodes, where Frieren is teaching Fern magic, significantly more impactful—Frieren specializes in killing demons, so when she taught Fern spells, she taught her spells used to kill demons.

Figure 1 Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Episode 8

Frieren ready to confront Aura's hordes of demons.

The episode ends with Frieren levitating (see above) in front of Aura's demon hordes, ready to fight them. Both during and after the episode, I imagine playing the Diablo IV soundtrack with imagined scenes in the anime where Frieren was killing demons (including the demon king). I need to find a word for these imagined scenes, because I do it so frequently with all the shows and video games I play. "Fan fiction" may be correct, but to be it has a negative connotation so I don't want to use it.

Figure 2 The Vexations of a Shut-In Vampire Princess, Episode 4

Komari after drinking a drop of Villhaze's (her maid's) blood during her fight against Millicent.

Hikikomari Kyuuketsuki no Monmon wasn't as strong, but I suppose we had some redemption from last week's disaster arc. We learned that Komari, a vampire who doesn't like drinking blood, will become incredibly powerful if she does drink blood. The fight wasn't particularly impressive, and I was expecting the show to be funny (because the first 2 episodes were), but we'll see where we go.

The Demon Sword Master of Excalibur Academy is also really fun. I still don't think the story is remarkable... but I like battle harem academy settings so much I always enjoy it. I'm in Love with the Villainess is also a really fun show on Monday.Kikansha no Mahou wa Tokubetsu desu is still fun. Although I can tell a lot of people on /a/ aren't watching it because the shows are threads are completely dead. S-Rank Musume is the same story. Mildly interesting, but dead threads. Perhaps it's not as compelling to other people as it is to me.

In keeping with tradition of wasteful purchases for marginal benefit, I am again looking at buying another camera. I say another because many years ago I bought a FujiFilm X100F which I didn't use too much (except to take some edc photos, and as a live streaming camera for a year during the pandemic). Still, I imagine myself being some sort of world traveler (even though I never travel) and in my imagination I have the Vacheron Constantin Overseas and the cool camera around my neck as I'm talking to all the people I meet in my head.

In all seriousness, I recall learning of a photographer named Vivian Maier in an a Vsauce video a few years ago. Vivian took tens of thousands of photos in her life, but never published them.

Figure 1 Vivian Maier

One of Vivian's many photos of herself.

Much like Alf's Room, I find it appeal to create interesting works like this and never sharing them. In fact, arguably that's the entire point of this website (Morganna's House). I like creating work, but would prefer not to share it. (This, I think, is mildly ironic when I realize much of the fantasies in my head I'm famous for writing great anime. But I suppose I'll type about that at some later date.) I imagine Vivian didn't want fame (I could be wrong) for the same reason Adachi of Alf's room doesn't want fame. Or, perhaps, if they get it, it's secondary to their goal of just having a fun hobby on your own terms.

When I realize this, I feel like their personalities were, at least in this specific part, similar to mine. And perhaps then if I buy a camera I can take a bunch of photos, never share them, and only enjoy them myself. I think that's a large reason why people take photos to begin with. There are billions of photos taken every day, I imagine, and most will never be seen. For me at least, just the act of taking them and sharing them with myself (perhaps on Morganna's Room!) is enough to satisfy me, which is all I'm really concerned with.

Anyways, I currently have a FujiFilm X100F but I'm not a big fan. Perhaps it's because the lens can't be replaced so I don't feel like a "real" photographer, or perhaps it's just not expensive enough for me and I wanted a Leica back when I bought the FujiFilm to begin with, but I'm thinking about buying a Leica M11.

Figure 2 The Leica M11

I'm considering buying this camera because it looks cool and its expensive. Oh, and it takes good pictures, I imagine. But pursuant to my earlier discussions on my luxury spending habits the cost and perceived quality is sufficient for me to want it.

I like the obvious curb appeal and styling. I like the swappable lenses. I really like the fact that I can change the leather wrap color (I want to get blackberry, but I'm not sure if they offer it, after I buy it I'll shoot customer support and email about it).

But more importantly, I like the idea that I'm buying. I like the idea of using this camera, for many years, to document even the boring minutiae of the things that I find. This camera will be a friend that I'll have for years. And if I use it, I can upload many cool things around here. Last summer I didn't really explore around the area, but I always felt like the equipment I had was missing the cool factor. But maybe I can if I get this (another desire purchase). I also really like winter, and how I look in winter clothes, so maybe I can do it this winter without having to wait for summer. In fact, I rather like the idea because I rather prefer the associated privacy. No one will see me taking photos.

Actually, upon further thought even that idea comports with my earlier notion that "I just want to like it myself". I like my winter clothing because... I like it. Not because I get compliments on it (in fact, no one ever sees it because I walk in the dark on winter mornings). But because I like how it looks personally. It's the same with the camera and watch. I like it because I like it. It's my preference. And I'm going to live my way. I'm vying for my own approval, and I want to like the things I use. For example, after many years I finally found pencils that I like. I found pens that I like. I found pencil and pencil cases that I like. And now, maybe finally, I'll find a camera that I'll like and use.

We're not too far in the season, but there are several shows I'm really looking forward to, several I'm sort of looking forward to, and some that feel like a chore to watch (and I may drop if I get to busy or bored). So I figured I'd make an early season ranking, to see how anything may change as the season progresses.

A Returner's Magic Should Be Special ("Kikansha no Mahou wa Tokubetsu Desu"): Also a traditional battle harem school setting, with easily a more compelling plot than Seiken, but for some reason I find it less engaging overall. Still really good.

The three major yuri shows, I'm in Love with the Villainess ("Watashi no Oshi wa Akuyaku Reijou"), The Vexations of a Shut-In Vampire Princess ("Hikikomari Kyuuketsuki no Monmon"), and Stardust Telepath ("Hoshikuzu Telepath") are all okay. I'd say Telepath is definietely the weakest, and because it airs on Monday it feels like a chore to watch (I'm watching 4 other shows on Monday, so it's packed). Villainess is mildly entertaining given how absurd the plot is, and Hikikomari was good until the most recent episode where it went from funny and lighthearted to dark. I don't have a problem with yuri ryona (in fact, it's fun), but I don't like aburt changes in tone from happy to overt violence. The shock value leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Figure 1 Hikikomari Kyuuketsuki no Monmon, Episode 3

Millicent Bluenight from Hikikomari Kyuuketsuki no Monmon ("The Vexations of a Shut-In Vampire Princess"). I definietely don't like this care as of episode 3. The entire show went from happy and funny to dark and grim in one episode. I don't really like violence against women in anime/media, and this show had a lot of it in episode 3.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End ("Sousou no Frieren") is a mixed bag. Perhaps the best show, on paper, but certainly not in pratice. While the most recent episode was very strong, I have fairly low expectations overall for this adventure anime (especially after how slow the first 5 episodes were). Easily has the most promise. Easily won't meet it. Still, I hope to be proven wrong!

16bit Sensation: ANOTHER LAYER had a strong first episode, but feels a bit dull recently. S-Rank Musume is average, and I have no idea where it's going (likely nowhere), but the father daughter reationship is unique and worth watching. Protocal: Rain ("Bokura no Ameiro Protocol"), the GAMER anime is a hot mess. But Yu (not!Ruka) is cute, so I'll stick with it. SHY is boring. But I'll stick with it. Konyaku Haki sareta Reijou wo Hirotta Ore ga, Ikenai Koto wo Oshiekomu is boring. But I'll stick with it. And finally, 100 Girlfriends feels like a show I'd really like—there are girls that are really interesting... but it just feels off. It's harem, which I normally like, but it's not the right harem for me. Perhaps because all the girls win, not one.

For as long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with "luxury" goods. If I wanted to purchase something, a binder, a pencil, whatever, I'd always look for the most expensive highest quality version of that object. For example, I write with $1000 pens, $400 pencils, cut paper with $200 scissors, and erase with a $180 eraser. I wear a $45,000 watch, and refuse to wear coats that cost less than $2000. In fact, I never go to the mall that's ten minutes north of me because the prices aren't high enough.

Figure 1 Papercraft I made several years ago.

Also shown above are the overpriced eraser, overpriced scissors, and overpriced pencil.

There was I time, I think, that this desire was motivated by showing off wealth, but this desire is far gone. But these days, if anyone asks or inquires about the cost of what I wear or own, I'll insist the item is a knockoff and redirect their attention away from me. So why, then, do I continue to insist on buying the most expensive "luxury" version of an item when it yields little to no attention? I'm not certain, but I'll try to stream of consciousness throw out some ideas.

I think one motivating factor, perhaps the biggest given that it jumps into my mind first, is the perceived quality of a "luxury" item. Ideally, I want to buy something once, and if it costs more money then, presumably, it's higher quality and I won't need to buy it again if it breaks. However, this is a bit contradicted by my behavior of buying multiple expensive versions of the same item. For example, why did I buy so many expensive pens, when one expensive pen would clearly suffice? Still, I think this is a large contributing factor.

Another potential factor is, perhaps, my inherent elitism, i.e., the arrogant belief that these cheap items aren't good enough for me. While it is true I'm not concerned about other's opinions of my ostensible wealth, I'm still concerned with my own. I believe it's not about being superior to other people, but instead being superior to your former self, hence by buying "better" versions of things, then I'm somehow becoming a better person myself in the process. I take a lot of pride in the things I buy and own, and actually get a lot of compliments not on their cost, but on the careful curated nature of said items. In fact, those are the few compliments I ever get, so it seems possible that this is a source of intrinsic pride—the items I purchase are partially a reflection of my personality, and I'm buying a better personality with every purchase.

That "buying personality" angle may be a bit stronger than I originally thought. I very frequently buy things for hobbies I want to have, or buy things for things I want to do. I bought a $10,000 telescope because I wanted to do astronomy, notwithstanding the fact that I never did it before hand. I bought an expensive camera (and am strongly considering buying an even better one) because I want to do photography. I bought all these outdoor clothes because I wanted to travel and be interesting, but then proceeded to do none of those things. The idea, it seems, to intrinsically related to the items themselves, so somehow buying the items feels like doing the hobby, at least in my head when I imagine them on my morning walks.

Those morning walks themselves require their own post, and the ideas I have during them I could write volumes. One of my larger regrets has been my inability, perhaps caused by laziness, to transcribe some of my thoughts about alternate anime stories, my own fantasies about my life, or other dreams I have during my morning walks and putting them to paper. Some of the most compelling ideas I've ever had, salient at the time, are vague and ephemeral because I never documented them. I believe the goal of Morganna's House, in part, is to be more concrete and intentional with my thoughts. I have a journal now, but I'm able to type so much faster than I can write in Spencerian, so too I can get more thoughts down on paper. As I write this, I'm effectively typing at the speed I can think, which means I get this stream of consciousness, almost fire hose of ideas. I believe there's value in this, though, because it transmits my exact thought at the time of writing, sans any additional interference. It also has some value because while I find writing in Spencerian cathartic, so too do I find typing cathartic.

No, buying personality and intrinsic elitism are likely the main factors now. I'm actually happy I wrote this. I think it was valuable to pinpoint these. Will I correct them? No. I don't believe they are, at their core, necessarily problems. Unless I'm driven to debt (not even close) I'll spend my money however I want. My expensive clothes, possessions—they're my sole companions on this journey.

About a year ago, at around the time I purchased my first house, I got interested in poison plants. I was donated a large African Milk Tree from a family member (who, in turned, got the plant from their parents), and once I learned that the plant itself was poisonous in prompted my desire to have more poison plants in my house.

Shortly thereafter I did my standard response to anything that piques my interest: get a bunch of books on the topic and read those before ever doing anything else. I bought (and read) Botanical Curses and Poisons, Plants That Kill, Poison: A History, and Poison: The History. I believe Poison: A History by Jenni Davis was probably the best for the action poisoners, with Poison: The History by Ben Hubbard being the best for explaining the plants themselves. I also red both volumes of The Memoirs of Marie Lafarge, a French woman who was accused of poisoning her husband. In retrospect, I'm actually shocked I read her entire memoir, and even after reading her account I'm still not entirely sure she was as innocent as she let on (despite her protests, she still came off as mildly distrustful... although I couldn't pinpoint why—perhaps it was because of the fact that she had such a strong motive to poison her husband I ignored other possible evidence to the contrary).

I then started buying seeds online and trying to get them to grow myself. And boy, it's been harder than I would have expected. I can't possibly list all of the sophisticated seed pretreatments I learned above, but the cliffnotes version is that a lot of these poison plant seeds have sophisticated dormancy mechanisms that have to overcome before they can grow. For example, to start the germination of Deadly Nightshade I had to weaken the seed coat with HCl, then start the germination with Gibberellic acid, then wait 30-100 days for some of them to sprout. Much more complicated than just adding water to soil! I also bought a commercial germination chamber in the interim (more on that later), grow lights and, of course, a lot of plant pots.

Anyways, here's some of the progress I made this year:

Figure 1 Grow lights (left), and a commercial germination chamber (right)

Originally I bought several grow lights, one of which is shown to the left in the image above. They're pretty good (although assembling them was a pain), but once the plants get tall I have to move them lest they hit the grow lights. I also bought a commercial germination chamber (right) to get seeds to sprout faster, with mixed results. Some seeds germinate easily (like the edible plant seeds), but the poison plants are all really hard to get to sprout.

Figure 2 The front room is full of plants. I don't know where to put them.

Some of the earliest sprouters of Deadly Nightshade, Bittersweet Nightshade, and Brugmansia, are now in the largest pots waiting in the front room. I don't know exactly where I want to put them in the house, so they're just in this holding pattern in the front room with a bunch of grow lights. Maybe I can just convert the entire room to a plant-only room!

Not show in the images above are several Pink Oleander plants I have growing in a room upstairs, or the grow tower in the kitchen (I still haven't filled that thing we plants yet). I grew everything from seeds I ordered online starting about a year ago, so It's pretty cool to see the full grown plants. I bought grow lights from a company called Mother Life, the plants do much better when they're under those lights.

One issue I'm having is where I'd like to put the full-grown plants. I need to put them wherever I can put the Mother Life grow lights, but I need to surround them with lights to keep them healthy. Perhaps I can put them in a corner, then periodically rotate the pot (somehow) to stop the plant from leaning to close to the grow lights (which is something that constantly happens now). Actually, upon doing some very basic research I found that plant turntables exist! I think that greatly expands the number of places I can put the plants, although I will likely need to order more wall mounts. I'll draw up some sketches and post updates later!

There's a show I've been watching this season that has been pretty slow, by all standards: Frieren: Beyond Journey's End. It tells the story of Frieren after her party defeated the demon king. Frieren is an elf who ages very slowly, so the first 5-6 episodes were about her party members dying of natural causes after completing their mission. Think about it. The adventure show is about... people dying of old age.

I still nevertheless stuck with the show because the slight wondering/adventure elements satiate my urge to travel, and also perhaps because of the fact that Frieren's aloof attitude loosely fits with how I'd imagine I'd act in similar situations.

Anyways, in this episode it finally got slightly interested when Frieren's (new) party, upon entering a town, encountered a demon ambassador which Frieren immediately tried to kill. She was arrested, and told that this town has been fighting with demons for decades, and perhaps they could finally talk it out to end the conflict diplomatically. She explained that, "Demons don't use words to understand humands. The use words to deceive humans", and we saw a flashback of her on her quest to kill the demon king encountering a demon doing precisely that.

Figure 1 Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Episode 7

Frieren is on the ground after being tackled by a guard for attempting to use magic to kill a demon ambassador in the middle of a town she's visiting.

Afterwards, we indeed see the demon ambassador talking about how they're deceiving humans in the village. The ambassador then orders the assassination of Frieren (who is currently in in the town's prison), because she's the only one who understands his true intentions. The episode ends on a cliffhanger with the presumably would-be assassin showing up to Frieren's jail cell to kill her, and Frieren simply says "I'm much stronger than you, and Aura (your boss)".

I don't know if it's the most remarkable writing I've ever seen, but it is the first time I'm actually interested in this show—so I'm looking forward to next week's episode. I guess I'm excited because this show, which hitherto felt like a chore to watch, finally got mildly interesting!

I started practicing Spencerian Script in (or around) May or April of this year (2023). I forget the exact date in which I started... I wish I was a bit better about record keeping and putting days on things (that's one of the things Morganna's House will hopefully partially correct).

I've wanted to have fancy cursive for a while, but I always through it would be impossible. But I bought a Spencerian practice book several years ago... got started, then gave up, then tried again this year and I stuck with it! I finished the book and now I practice every day. I've given a handwriting sample below:

Figure 1 A Spencerian script practice page

A Spencerian Script example of completed on May 30th 2023. I've improved a lot since then, but I'm really proud of this one because this was my first attempt where I tried everything, all the letters, and could demonstrate months of hard work and practice.

Penmanship is, for all intents and purposes, an art of antiquity. But there's something cathartic, I find, about carefully writing things slowly and intentionally. I feel like it's much slower than my typing, so much so that I don't always feel what I write in Spencerian is necessarily an accurate portrayal of my emotions because it takes so long to say anything, I omit a lot of my rambling stream of conscious thoughts and feelings. Nevertheless, the careful attention, the focus on fine details, is a very enjoyable experience. I'd very much like to have a penpal I could write too... or really any friends at all I could talk with, but I suppose I can just keep writing to myself!

Background

I've wanted to make a hobby website for a while, but I could never muster up the courage to do so. I always found it mildly embarrassing, my hobbies, and didn't want to share them. I think I've always been that way. If I told people what I was interested in when I was a kid, that just become ammunition to make fun of me at a later date (or even immediately). I'm not super interested in people (anyone) reading what I post here—I figure this is more for my own sake that I can document my doings so that, decades down the road, I can say I accomplished something with my life.

Why "Morganna's House"? What about a blog?

While watching watching the YouTube video "The mystery of 'MICHAELSOFT BINBOWS'", I learned of a website called Alf's Room, created by a Japanese man named Adachi Yoshinori. The website, told through the fictional character Alf, catalogue Adachi's travels and commentary as he visited various places in Japan over the last 20 years (it also has a lot of images of trains).

Figure 1 Alf's Room

The retro 90's style hobby website site "Alf's Room" made by Adachi Yoshinori.

I very much like the simple 90's aesthetic of the site, and feel like it conveys a lot of character of the creator. I also like how the website is told through the persona "Alf" (so too this site will be told through the persona of Morganna), so perhaps, even if the chance is remote, the author felt inclined to do the same thing I'm planning to do here: create a website using a mask, the anonymity increasing my confidence to post my feelings and hobbies online.

I wanted to use a simple HTML/CSS website like this, and not a blog, simply because I enjoy the mild coding experience of doing it myself. Every time I considered alternatives in the past, such as WordPress, I got less excited and never made the site. The fact that I'm here, now, making this post, is proof itself that the act of actually opening Dreamweaver and sending the files via sFTP myself is a necessary motivation (enjoyment) that I need for something like this. Why not a blog? Because a blog didn't give my the motivation. I also feel like this site, hosted and created myself, affords me slightly more privacy that a well known content management system like WordPress or Blogger.

Who is "Morganna"?

Morganna (alternatively Morgana; I personally think it looks better with 2 "n's", and I also want to differentiate it from the character in the game I'm about to discuss) is a fictional character from The House in Fata Morgana, a visual novel I played on the PSP several years ago. I would argue The House in Fata Morgana, along with Swann's Way, are the two greatest works of art I've ever read.

Told in the 1st person you, the narrator, gain consciousness in a dilapidated mansion in France in (or around) the 1800's. The maid of the house approaches you, asks if you know who you are (you don't), and explains that "If you're here now, you must have lived here in the past". The maid then begins to explain several seemingly unrelated stories of the lives of the people who have lived in this house in the past. The stories, at least superficially, are unrelated. There are only three loose narrative threads that connect them: (1) the maid is present in every story (even though there's 100's of years between the earliest stories and the latest, (2) it's mentioned that there's a "witch" that lives in the house, and the witch's curse ensures that, (3) every story ends in a tradegy.

After learning of all the tragedies, the maid finally arrives at your story, which is a sprawling, complex, winding tale of how you, Micheal, connect every tragedy, and how the witch, Morgana, is real.

1000 years ago, Morgana was chained in the top of a church tower (the church would later become the house itself), and every day people would come to the top of the tower, cut her where ever she had bare skin, harvest her blood, and drink it for it's "healing" powers. They believed Morgana was a saint, and tortured her as result until she died. When she died, she cursed every person who partook in her torture: "Every cut on my skin will be a 1000 lifetimes of suffering." This lead to all the tragedies—each person, each story hitherto, tortured Morgana in a past life. Their crimes chained them to their past, and birthed their future suffering.

Figure 2 The House in Fata Morgana

Fan art of Morgana holding her own corpse, still chained at the top of the tower. The blue butterflies are common in the game, and I eventually commisioned a knife to be made using a similiar motif.

The story ends, ultimately, with you, the Archangel Michael, breaking Morgana's curse. All of the stories you heard, all the pain endured, her prayers from 1000 years ago, crying out to be saved. The final scenes were you hold her in your arms, covered in scars, barely conscious, and she asks "Is Father proud" are scenes I still turn over in my head to this day. I hate religion, but that religious symbolism was very moving (tears in my eyes).

The Morganna (two "n's") on this website is my loose imagination, interpretation, of "Modern Morganna", i.e., what would Morganna be interested in if she lived into modern times? So too will this site be slightly told through her perspective, with her giving her opinions on things. Her hobbies and interests, I imagine, would mirror mine, and I will use this fictional character as a mask to feel more comfortable with publishing my thoughts and ideas to the internet.

Closing Remarks

Morganna's room won't be "high effort". I'm going to make little to no attempt to proof read anything (sans some minor spelling checking for obvious errors). I already do a lot of proofreading and copy editing at my job, and I don't want my hobby website to require it is as well. That's the most time consuming and least fun part of the actual writing process, so I will avoid a lot of it here. While I do value privacy, I would like to believe that this website, however imperfect, may be useful to someone someday. Although I'd be deluding myself to believe that, perhaps it's use is the therapeutic value I'm finding right now as I make it.